Real Cowboys Demand the Dallas Cowboys Change Name

It has been a hot-button issue around the country for the past year or so.  Many have recently become offended by the name of the Washington Redskins because it is insulting to Native Americans.  Others have now taken notice, as real American Cowboys have now voiced their displeasure with the Dallas Cowboys’ name.

“It’s not right!” said famous gun-slinger “Curly Bill" Brocius.  “They are making a Cowboy look like a dang yellow belly. We are naturally clutch people.  We win gunfights and shootouts.  We demand a change!”

The story has been one to quickly gain traction with supporters.  Thousands who have never thought twice about the Cowboys’ name are now speaking out against it.

Artists' rendition of an actual cowboy

“I just can’t believe that they would consider using that name,” said global activist Phil Simms. “A ‘Cowboy’ is an outlaw and a hero all in one.  Going 8-8 every season and having Jason Garrett as your head coach couldn’t be further from representing that group of people.”

Simms said that he will not say the name “Cowboys” on CBS season this season out of respect for the “folks on the corral.”

Other American Cowboys have organized protests against America’s Team and the refusal for a name change. 

“I can’t believe that they would continue to just drag our name through the mud,” said “Texas John” Slaughter.  “I bet half of these guys can’t even ride horses! And Tony Romo? He is the kind of guy who would squat with his spurs on.  If that choke-artist was in a draw he’d probably drop the gun.”

Roger Goodell was firm on his stance that no team will be forced to change names.  He also downplayed the idea that this is all a power-play by cowboys to avoid being upstaged by Indians in gaining support by pop-culture.

"The Cowboy-Indian rivalry is one of the greatest in our country's history," said Goodell while sporting a new #FreeRayRice t-shirt. "We need to understand that football should always come first.  The idea that these die-hard fans should have to change the name of their favorite team because it offends people is not fair to those fans."